A group of university scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that,by drinking enough beer, men turn
To test the theory 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1. Gained weight
2. Talked excessively without making sense
3. Became overly emotional
4. Couldn’t drive
5. Failed to think rationally
6. Argued over nothing
7. Had to sit down while urinating
8. Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
No further testing was considered necessary!
Once there was a family who was given some venison by a friend. The wife cooked up the Deer steaks, and served it to the husband and children. The husband thought it would be fun to have the children guess what it was that they are eating.
“Is it beef?” The daughter Katie asked.
“Is it pork?” The son Willie asked.
“Heck, we dont know, Dad” Willie exclaimed.
“I’ll give you a clue,” the dad said, “its what your mom sometimes calls me.”
“Spit it out ,Willie !” cried Katie,”We are eating Asshole!!!!”
1. It’s important to have a man who helps at home, cooks, cleans & has a job.
2. It’s important to have a man who can make you laugh.
3. It’s important to have a man who you can trust and doesn’t lie.
4. It’s important to have a man who is good in bed and likes being with you.
5. It is very, very important that these four men don’t know each other.
- Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
- Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
- Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
- Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?
- Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?
- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
- Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
- Why didn’t Prophet Nuh(Noah) swat those two mosquitoes?
- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
- You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
- Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
- Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a quiet table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice.
She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled,”Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”
As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed…”YES! YES! I WON, I WON!”
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?”
The other answered, “I don’t know – I thought you were watching.”
MORAL : Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men