Dubai Ski Slope – Rules and Etiquette

  1. All Emirati and GCC residents have 100% right of way at all times. They also have the right to exceed 160 kmph, make unexpected manoeuvres, indicate a direction of travel and then go in the opposite direction, ensure other skiers are aware of their presence by using the klaxons and halogen lamps (provided by management for GCC nationals only), wear more than 30% tinted sunglasses.
  2. All Indian subcontinent skiers must travel in threes only. They are only allowed to ski after 2am and before 6am and should not been seen at any time outside of these hours. There shall be no breaks allowed and all skiers must ski continuously during these hours.
  3. All Filipino and Russian female skiers must be aware that attention from all male skiers is to be expected and tolerated fully. If propositioned the skiers must accompany the male skier for whatever reason. They may well be paid for this and should in no way be mistaken for payment for services rendered. This in no way should be taken as a demeaning act of male assumptions.
  4. All Lebanese skiers must be within 5cm of the skier in front at all times, unless Boudoir / Sho Cho’s / Serai are opening in which case they must vacate the slope immediately in either an Audi TT / BMW / 10 year old Mercedes Benz or BMW.
  5. All Western Expats must observe the following – If ski-ing the expats must at all times act annoyed and frustrated with the lack of respect shown to them. They must constantly “tut” and gesture about the lack of manners shown. They should never forget that they are better than everyone else on the slope and if it wasn’t for them there would be no ski slope, mall, roads, cars, power, buildings or wars. Should the expat choose to not ski and observe the slopes then they must drink excessive alcohol, wear revealing clothes, shout about “if you don’t like it then leave”, urinate in public and abuse all other skiers not within their Western Expat Skier Club. On no account should the expat ever attempt to make the situation any different other than writing to 7DAYS or posting on internet message boards.

Kind regards,

The Management

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