As I Mature – Unknown

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care,
Some people are just assholes.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust,
And it takes only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes,
After that, you’d better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others,
They are more screwed up than you think.

I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting
Long after you think you’re finished.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do,
Unless we are celebrities.

I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,
The passion fades,
And there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house,
One of the kids did it.

I’ve learned that people you care the most about in life,
Are taken away from you too soon,
And all the less important ones just never go away.

Pass this along to five friends,
Trust me they will appreciate it,
Who knows, maybe something good will happen…

If not…Tough shit.


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Filed under on the lighter side

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