Monthly Archives: March 2006

The Boredom Will Surely Kill Me

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The Truth

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + Smart woman = Romance
Smart man + Dumb woman = Affair
Dumb man + Smart woman = Marriage
Dumb man + Dumb woman = Pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + Smart employee = Profit
Smart boss + Dumb employee = Production
Dumb boss + Smart employee = Promotion
Dumb boss + Dumb employee = Overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries! about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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Filed under on the lighter side, work = slave labor

Who Siad Slpelings Were Ipmorantt???!!!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

If you can raed tihs yuor not taht sutpid afetr all!!!

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British Men Show Where Their Loyalties Lie

27 March 2006
London, United Kingdom

British men show far more loyalty, commitment and self-sacrifice towards their favourite football team than towards their partners, a study published on Monday showed.

About 94% said they would never stop loving their team no matter how badly they fared while 52% would gladly ditch a relationship that was not going well, the survey of approximately 200 men across Britain found.

Psychologist Aric Sigman said: “If men showed the same fidelity, commitment, self-sacrifice and honesty toward their partners, the divorce rate would halve overnight.”

In an age where politicians’ loyalties are seen as chameleonic, where jobs and relationships come and go, loyalty is now reserved for something men feel they can actually believe in: football.”

Perhaps this undying loyalty for a football team shows how qualities such as integrity and devotion are at a premium nowadays.”

A quarter of men admitted they would miss a family funeral to watch a game. The research also discovered that a majority of Englishmen surveyed (59%) said football gave them a sense of national pride, while a majority of Scotsmen (55%) said it gave them a sense of national embarrassment.

The study also found that football provided a way for men to show emotion. Nearly two-fifths (39%) admitted they had cried tears of joy or despair over football, whilst almost a third (32%) said it had been crucial in teaching them to bond with other men.

Pollsters TNS Global conducted the research for football World Cup sponsor Duracell. – AFP

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Filed under footie, khabroon mein

I Wanna Be Your Underwear – Bryan Adams

I wanna be your t-shirt when it’s wet
I wanna be the shower when you sweat
I gotta be the tattoo on your skin
Yeah lemme be your bed baby – when you climb in

I wanna be the sheets when you sleep
Let me be the secrets that you keep
I gotta be the spoon – ta stir your cream
I wanna be the one that really makes you scream

I wanna be – your lipstick when ya lick it
I wanna be – your high heels when ya kick it
I wanna be – your sweet love babe – ya when you make it
From your feet up to your hair – more than anything I swear
I wanna be – your underwear

I wanna be the itch that you scratch
Wanna be the chair when you relax
I gotta be your razor when you shave
I wanna be the habit that really makes you crave

I wanna be – your hot tub – when you’re dippin’
I wanna be – your bathrobe – when you’re drippin’
I wanna be – your cocktail baby – when you’re sippin’
I just wanna be right there – more than anything I swear
I wanna be – your underwear

I wanna be your sleeping bag – baby slip inside
Let me be your motorcycle n’ take you for a ride – alright
I wanna be – your hot sauce – ya when you’re cookin’
I wanna be – your sunglasses – hey good lookin’
I wanna be – wanna be the one – you’re stick your hook in
I just wanna be right there – more than anything I swear
Oh ya I wanna be – your underwear

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