I’m glad I’m not over it. Let it take as long as it should.
If I had just given up and not tried and said “Okay whatever he’s gone, big shit” then there would have been something seriously wrong with me. Atleast because of all the hurt I know that the love was real even if just from my end.
Atleast I know it meant a lot to me. Atleast I know I am human, that I am able to love someone so intensely. That I had genuine feelings and I wasn’t just playing the fool. That I wasn’t in it for the heck of it. That I’m not one of those girls who keep jumping from one guy to another and never really attach themselves to anyone. Right now it would be nice if there wasn’t all this pain but then I know its better this way.
I’m still trying. I know that’s just pathetic but it’s what my heart says is right. I can’t just let go like that.
I wish I wasn’t so clingy. But then there are a lot of things I wish and if I had them all then I wouldn’t be me.